The Wizard's Guide to the Muggle World
by EternalVeritie
Summary: The Class of 1998 is sent out into the Muggle World for a month with only a book and each other as resources. A daily page story about the interactions they have with various muggle things.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello wonderful people of the fanfiction world! I apologize for being gone for so long. I promise I haven't abandoned Reign; it's just going to take me a while to plan things out for it. Meanwhile, I have this little story for you, updated daily through this whole month!**

"Hello, hello, recent Hogwarts graduates! We have gathered you all here today to reveal one of the Ministry's newest decrees." A witch in cotton candy pink robes and a cotton candy blue hat stood on the podium before all of the graduating class of 1998, or those who had survived the war at least. There were a great number of them, and all who hadn't yet left Britain were herded to this mandatory event. The witch spoke again in her annoyingly high-pitched voice, reminding them all of Umbridge. "You are all going to be so excited! Now, who's ready? Oh, come on now. Don't be shy. I know you're all enthusiastic!" The false, overdone excitement she displayed made most of them want to vomit. "In light of the tragic, tragic war, the Ministry has decided to make each class spend a month out in the Muggle World!" Murmurs broke out at this. The muggleborns seemed worried yet excited, the half-bloods contemplative, and the purebloods split evenly between curiosity and disgust. "Isn't this wonderful? You all are the first class to get to be part of this program!"

"Haven't we been through enough?" a voice asked.

"Honestly though. Why are we the guinea pigs?" someone replied.

The Ministry witch attempted to glare at them in a way that looked almost comical. "You all ought to be honored." She went on to praise the Ministry for a solid ten minutes. Kingsley seemed to have established a much better government, but clearly he had allowed the Muggle Relations Department too much free reign. Finally, the woman stopped talking. Other Ministry workers began handing out slim books to each of the graduates entitled _The Wizard's Guide to the Muggle World._ These will be your guide to everything! Of course, if you run into any issues, please consult the nearest muggleborn. He or she will surely help you out."

A couple people flipped through the pages. Hermione shrieked out, "This is entirely wrong though! A television set does NOT shrink people down temporarily! Who even edited this?"

Once again, the witch gave her a disdainful look. "This is Ministry-approved material Miss Granger. Do try and respect the work of our researchers. Being a war heroine doesn't mean you know everything."

Hermione scoffed and muttered under her breath something about having to "burn the piece of utter rubbish" and "wouldn't a muggleborn know more anyway?"

"Okay now everyone," the witch began, switching back to her sugary voice. "If you would just follow me this way, here is the entrance to the Muggle World. Please place your wands in the receptor. They will be returned to you at the end of the month.

"Wait! We're going now?!" Several people screamed out in a near panic. "I don't have any of my things!"

"That's not to matter. You can simply get new things there. Come along now."

One by one, they entered the Muggle World, the purebloods huddling together right outside of the bus station they had just seemingly exited. It was most people's first time there, and they felt naked without their wands. Some self-consciously realized that they would need new clothes as their robes were starting to attract attention. The group gave a collective sigh. It was going to be a long month.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Most chapters will be about this length (500 ish words). In case you didn't know, reviews are the sustenance of my soul. This is one of those stories that I'm entirely open to suggestions. I'll try my best to get another chapter out tonight. If not, I'll have two out tomorrow.**


	2. Money

**A/N: As promised, a second chapter for today. This is the Day 1 chapter (Day 1= Feb 1), even though each chapter doesn't necessarily equal a day in the month they spend in the Muggle World. I hope that part made sense.**

Daphne and Pansy immediately began discussing clothing and the different outfits they were going to get. They headed off to a store and stepped inside, before rushing back towards the group. With a gasp Pansy shrieked, "We don't have any money!" She paused for a moment. "I mean of course we have money. We aren't the Weasleys or anything."

At this, Ron let out a cry of outrage. "We aren't poor, Parkinson. Ever heard of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, you little-"

"Oh do shut up," came the reply, "We're in the middle of a crisis!"

"Exactly!" Daphne agreed. "We need new clothes, and we don't have muggle money!"

"What are we supposed to do now?" Pansy wailed.

Passersby began staring at them, wondering why two oddly dressed girls were sobbing on the side of the streets. Justin began trying to shush them, rolling his eyes and giving the pedestrians the universal sign for craziness, circling his finger by the side of his head. They briefly nodded and kept walking, seemingly used to such odd displays.

Ernie piped up, "Hey! We can just look at the book, right?" A Ravenclaw looked up the right page and began to read it out loud.

 _Muggle money is very different from wizarding money. There are coins and there are bills, or little slips of paper. Each of these has the picture of the muggle Queen on them. Unlike the 29 Knuts to a Sickle conversion that we follow, they instead have 100 pence to a pound. We have yet to figure out where they get such a random conversion factor from, but it seems to suit the muggles fine. Each bill has a number on it on the top left. That is the value of the bill. Even though the bills may look the same, apparently the number makes a difference. Money can be converted at the bus station. For conversion from wizarding money, state the code word "Pickles" to the teller in the fourth stall from the left, then ask about his cat. He will take your money and give you the proper exchange in muggle money._

The muggleborns stared. "Is that really what it says?" Justin wondered. "Well, I mean, it's true enough." Harry replied.

"But they think 100 is a random conversion factor? Barmy, they are."

With a shrug, Harry led the group toward the money exchange booth. One by one, they all got their money, staring at the coins and bills in awe.

Draco held up a 5 pound note and a 20 pound note. "So according to that book, this piece of paper is not the same as this piece of paper?" At the nod he received, he exclaimed, "But paper isn't even worth anything. Are muggles so poor that they can't even get proper gold or silver?" Hermione sighed and began explaining paper currency. Draco looked ready to argue, but Pansy clamped a hand over his mouth and dragged him by the elbow to the little clothing shop down the street. Daphne joined them, and the rest of the group hurried to catch up.

 **A/N: Woo! I have a review within 5 mins of posting the first chapter! I'm excited/happy/bouncing off of walls! Tomorrow: Clothing choices!**


	3. Clothes

**A/N: Day 2! This one is a bit of a filler chapter as I'm not quite sure what clothing they wear underneath robes in the Wizarding World. Enjoy!**

Stepping inside the department store, the trio stopped short. "Oh my goodness. I thought this was a clothing store!" Pansy screeched.

A Hufflepuff rolled her eyes. "Welcome to muggle clothing."

Just then, an elegant lady came by asking the group what they were searching for, eying their odd choice of clothing. Hermione quickly made up an excuse about a trip from a foreign country and told the woman they were just looking around. The men split off from the ladies, intending to be done shopping quickly. The half-bloods and muggleborns immediately knew what to look for; Draco, Blaise, and Theo stood by idly. "Nothing here has a good quality. I haven't seen a shred of silk in here since I walked in," Draco complained. The others nodded along, discussing which articles of clothing were the most fashionable and high-class. Eventually giving in to the "poor quality of the muggle attire", yet impressed by the number of different suits offered, they prepared to buy nearly a quarter of the store between the three of them. The others stood aghast, before continuing their own shopping.

"Who here is supposed to take the measurements and alter everything?" Blaise asked, holding out his arms as if expecting Madam Malkin's measuring tapes to come flying over from nowhere. Dean then had to explain the concept of fitting rooms. They each tried on a few outfits. A lot of convincing later, most of the guys had a few T-shirts, jeans, and formal wear.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the store, the girls were having a substantially harder time. Hannah piped up, "The only things available are little slips of fabric and dress robes! How are we supposed to go out like this?" Daphne had already fallen in love with the dresses, twirling around in one after another with Pansy and Millicent fawning over her. Hannah was still caught in her crisis, having been raised to only wear dress robes in the fanciest of settings. "What even is a casual dress?"

Padma, on the other hand, was discussing with Parvati if the pants she was buying were really supposed to be for men.

 _Jeans are a type of muggle pants. They can be worn by both men and women. They are worn casually, paired with a top. Some of these may seem as if they have been torn, but fear not. They are not in need of mending. Muggles seem to enjoy fresh air hitting their skin and therefore use as little material as possible. Many shirts you will find in a similar fashion._

Hannah had her answer to why the only clothes offered were mere bits of cloth. Pairing things up was a completely different story. After much yelling and screaming and exasperated sighing, the girls also had their outfits for the next week. The muggleborns watched as the others struggled slightly with their money and held in laughs as they puffed out their chests with pride when they finally successfully paid for their merchandise.

After they exited the shop, Harry stood in front of them all. "Okay now. The Ministry arranged housing for us. Let's get there and call it a night."

 **A/N: Let me know what you think! Any guesses for the subject of the next chapter?**


	4. Locks and Lightbulbs

**A/N: I didn't die. Still around, just haven't been writing. I've been a mess and my poor muse only felt the need to write dark poetry. Anyway, I'm starting this back up. For those following Reign.. I'll get to it eventually. Might do a few crack one-shots first though.**

 **Enjoy!**

A giant mansion owned by a squib was set out for the group. Because the owner was out of town, the group had the building to themselves. Draco walked up and turned the knob, but the door wouldn't budge. The purebloods stared hopelessly at it. "We don't have wands! How are we supposed to unlock the door?" They began flipping through the Guide again, and the muggleborns let them, curious to see what the book could have to say about locks and keys.

 _Muggles cannot make wards. Instead, they get specialized locks. Each house (and sometimes room) will have a different lock. Keys fit inside the locks. Muggles tend to put keys underneath their welcome mats or in flower pots on their porches if they want other people to have access to them. If you try to check, do not dig too deep into their plants; they are most unappreciative of that._

Pansy scrunched her nose and daintily lifted the mat to find a little golden key underneath. She opened the door, and whispered a soft "lumos" with no avail. She stepped back out into the fading light. "How do we get light?"

Blaise swaggered up. "I heard about this once." He clapped his hands twice and said "on!" Nothing happened. He clapped harder. Still nothing. By this point, most of the muggleborns and halfbloods were chuckling behind their hands, but Hermione and Justin were outright laughing aloud, clutching their sides. Blaise glared at them while still clapping, which only make them laugh harder. He sniffed, nose in the air, and began leafing through the book.

 _Light in the Muggle World is most fascinating. They took little drops of the sun and use them to set little strings, called wires, on fire. Do not worry; there is no cause for alarm. The fire is enclosed in a glass object called a bulb. As they do not know cooling charms, the fire makes the surface of the bulb hot, so touching it will burn. These fires can be turned on and off with a switch that can be found on walls. They are also a bit temperamental, as the bulbs can suddenly stop working. We have found no reasoning for this, so we have chalked it up to that being muggle technology._

Offended gasps from all of the muggleborns filled the air. Dean began explaining how lightbulbs actually worked, not even caring that no one was listening to him. Draco chimed in, "How are we supposed to find these 'switches' without being able to see them?"

"You just feel along the wall."

"Ooh! Is this it?"

Someone felt the object and sighed. "No Draco. That is a hook. Wait, here. This is a switch. Push it up." Suddenly, the room flooded with light. Daphne looked into the next room and commented that it was still dark. A lot of complaining about muggle technology and a few explanations later, the group understood that certain lights were controlled by certain switches. The group explored the house, all of the purebloods flicking the switches on and off and back on again, staring at them in wonder.

The muggleborns chuckled and sighed. They knew it was going to be a long month. They sat back on the couches in the living room and turned on the TV. Little did they know they were about to be bombarded with even more questions.

 **A/N: If I don't update daily, spam me. I have prewritten chapters; I most likely just forgot to upload them. I know I don't really have the right to ask y'all to review, seeing as I haven't updated for a month, but if you do, I'll love you forever!**


	5. Television

**A/N: Hope you like it!**

"It's the thing with the little people inside!" Hannah exclaimed.

"Oh dear Merlin," Harry groaned. Ron asked what it was called and looked up television in the Guide.

 _Muggles use a television for entertainment. They sit on couches and stare at a box with a window. Little people are shrunk down, along with trees and houses to fit inside these boxes. The people put on a play, which Muggles then watch. Shorter plays that have new parts every week are called shows, while longer ones are called movies. Sometimes, the plays are animated. They disfigure the people and flatten them to look two-dimensional and fake. These characters act as well in both shows and movies. Muggles also watch sports on TV. A remote is a box with buttons. Different buttons, or combinations of them, lead to switching channels. This means that the current play is switched out to something else. Muggles have found a way to clone these people as well, because the same plays can be watched by multiple people on different televisions at the same time._

Susan, a compassionate Hufflepuff to the core, began to speak out against the "barbaric practices."

Pansy turned her nose into the air. "See, muggles are uncivilized people. Maybe by shrinking each other down, they might just kill each other off. Either that will, or their innate stupidity will. Better for us anyway."

A resounding slap echoed though the room. Hermione stood there, eyes blazing in anger. "You disgust me, Parkinson. You are in the Muggle World right now and have to live as a muggle for the next month. Learn to live with it. Muggles are NOT barbaric people, and the sooner you understand that, the better. If you'd listened at all, you'd have known that the Guide is wrong. People are NOT shrunk down, nor are they duplicated. Honestly, it's like-."

"Granger. The Ministry witch told us that the information is correct," Draco jumped to her defense.

"And since when has the Ministry been constantly correct?" She shot back at him. He glared at her but didn't say a word, knowing she was correct, and that it was a lost cause. There was a long pause, as no one dared to say anything. The only sound was the dull roar of the TV in the background.

Suddenly, "Circe and Morgana! Her house got caught up in a tornado!" Neville had his eyes glued to _The Wizard of Oz_ that was playing. The tension broke, and they all crammed themselves on the couch or on the floor to watch the movie.

Although an indignant cry rose up because of the depiction of the witches, the group stayed relatively calm for the rest of the night. They finished the movie and decided it was late enough to sleep. Climbing up the stairs, they marveled at the lack of moving portraits and other minor signs of magic they were used to constantly seeing. They settled into their rooms, the Purebloods once again playing with the light switches, and the others planning the next day.

 **A/N: I have tomorrow's ready, but I need ideas for Friday's chapter! PM me or leave a review about something that you'd like to see wizard-ified. :)**


End file.
